i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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