All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
