Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
