Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
