Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
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