I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
