In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
