his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
