My nipple is on Facebook.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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