I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
