they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
