if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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