I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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