The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
