i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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