he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
