My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
