doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So much Jack, so little girl.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
