Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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