we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
