I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
