Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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