Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
