He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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