There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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