and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
