Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
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dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
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I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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