You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
