i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
