I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
