clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
