DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
