I think i peed on brittanys purse
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
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