We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
