i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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