After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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