Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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