party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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