You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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