Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
