Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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