Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
