Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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