I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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