Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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