ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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