Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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