508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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