When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he shaved USA in his pubs
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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