forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
