A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
