why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
