is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
