I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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