you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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