dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
