Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
