I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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