I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
