He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
