Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
