carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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