For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
