My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
