Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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